


Choice

by LuciferZ



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Mind Games, Psychological, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spirit Guides, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:55:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferZ/pseuds/LuciferZ
Summary: Kurapika finds himself lost in a place of white light.With no one else there but him and a being who claims to be his spirit guide.Who wears the face of Chrollo Lucilfer.A choice to be made, heaven and hellTo heal his heart before returning to the world of the livingOr wreck his vengeance upon his enemy, all his for the taking
Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Kurapika
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Choice

White.

A white place of bright light.

_Where am I?_

Kurapika thought as he moved forward in the unknown place.

He didn’t remember much.

Last he remembered, he was finding the scarlet eyes.

_Am I dead?_

He wondered.

Had he managed to gather the scarlet eyes before he died?

Had he obtained the last pair…?

The memories were blurry.

“God…”

Kurapika found himself murmuring.

“Yes?”

He didn’t expect an answer.

And he certainly didn’t expect the face of his nemesis to be smiling serenely at him.

Like he was the god of the unknown place.

The day Chrollo Lucilfer was a god was the day he died.

“You -!”

He could feel the familiar anger burning, his eyes turning red –

But Chrollo only chuckled.

“We meet again, Kurapika.”

He said like they had met _before_.

Kurapika almost hadn’t recognized him at first.

His hair wasn’t slicked back but let freely down.

He stood, laidback, his hands in his pockets, completely at home in the white place.

He had a smile on his annoyingly smug face.

Kurapika tried to materialize his chains.

But they did not appear.

“…!”

“Ah. This is a place where violence is forbidden.”  
  
Chrollo’s smile seemed to become even more smug.

“Do you remember what happened?”

He moved forward like it was completely normal to be standing there in a white place talking to his enemy.

Kurapika would have thought such a place would be Heaven, had Chrollo not been there.

The only way Chrollo would be in Heaven was if he was Lucifer himself.

Chrollo seemed to read his thoughts and raised his fingers to hide his grin.

“You. Are you Chrollo Lucilfer?”

Kurapika had to ask, perhaps since he was in a Heaven-like place, the person who looked like Chrollo Lucilfer was not actually him, but someone who appeared in his form to guide him.

Chrollo tilted his head.

“That is my name in that incarnation, yes.”  
  
He said something that made no sense at all.

“Now, I will be your guide for today. Follow me.”

He said and walked away.

* * *

“Do you know why you are here?”

The being with Chrollo’s face asked him, completely free of any hostility.

He curbed his own hostility that seemed to be fading more and more in the white place.

“…No. What is this place?”

Chrollo looked like he had stopped the slightest bit before continuing forward.

Like he always did.

Even when Kurapika was stuck in the past, the tormentor of his clan moved seamlessly forward.

  
  
But this was not Chrollo, there was no way such a serene man could be a mass murderer.

“…I don’t know how to answer that question, it is a place where those burdened with sentience may perhaps rest...”

Chrollo raised a hand to his chin and said vaguely.

“Am I dead?”

  
Kurapika demanded.  
  
Black eyes turned and blinked at him.  
  
“I suppose we shall find out at the end.”

They had been walking along what felt like a long corridor, even though the place was filled with light.

The being who bore the face of the murderer of his clan had a contemplative look on his face.

  
  
_Did I complete my goal?_

Kurapika wondered, he looked around hoping to see the ghosts of his clan.

This wasn’t what he imagined the afterlife to be like.

He had even envisioned hell, for becoming a murderer himself in his quest for revenge.

Certainly not a place which looked like heaven but was devoid of people except him and Chrollo.

“I am your spirit guide.”  
  
The being answered his unspoken question.

“I guide your spirit to help you to come to peace with your heart…”

“…is that why you wear his face?”

Kurapika controlled his anger and asked, and the being smiled peacefully at him.

  
“Perhaps.”

He said, too vague like _him_ , and then turned.

“We are here.”

He opened the doors.

A ballroom laid spread before them.

The kind of ballroom in any rich mansion.

Only it was empty and they were the only ones there.

“…Huh?”

Kurapika said.

He thought he heard the being with Chrollo’s face _giggle._

“Oh. This means we must dance.”

“Huh?!”

“Dance with me, Kurapika?”

Kurapika just stared at the hand held out to him from the person with the face of his worst enemy.

He reminded himself that it was his spirit guide whatever that meant who bore his enemy’s face to help him heal his heart.

“…Why?”

He said finally, chanting in his mind that the being was his spirit guide that would help him heal.

The situation was so surreal, but he didn’t remember anything, he was merely present in that moment.

Honesty exuded from the man’s eyes as he blinked.

He raised his gaze to the chandelier high above as if it would give him the answers.

“…I don’t actually know, I merely know I needed to meet you in this place…”

He said, his hand still held towards Kurapika.

“…If I recall correctly, the answers lie at the end of the doors, and each door holds a different room for a different activity. Think of them like trials, to get the answers you want…….”

And then his voice took on a distant tone but he seemed even closer to Kurapika.

“…..Why your clan was massacred, why you were the sole survivor, and why revenge was your answer.”

Kurapika’s heart froze.

But there was no lie in the being’s eyes.

“…so, dance with me?”

  
His Chrollo-looking spirit guide smiled at him purely.

And like a gentle breeze, he spoke the words softly.

“The truth shall set you free.”

He thought he didn’t know how to dance.

But somehow in that mystical place he did.

As if his ‘spirit guide’ knew his need for control, he let him take the lead.

With a refreshing smile on his handsome face, he moved along with Kurapika to the soothing music.

“Do you know? Battles are a form of dances. Violent dances, but dances no less.”

“…”

“The world in which you were born, the world of Hunters, was on a higher difficulty level. To have survived that massacre, you are a powerful, beautiful soul.”  
  
His spirit guide said words he thought he didn’t deserve.

“…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  
  
Kurapika said, but he exhaled and thought he felt slightly lighter.

  
Chrollo raised a hand and placed it on his chest.

“What can I do to help you heal your heart?”

“…Why do you want to help me?”

He moved his face closer in the dance, as if trying to decipher the too kind being’s intentions.

“…I am your spirit guide. It is my duty.”  
  
His Chrollo spirit guide said and then as if sensing his dissatisfaction, added.

“As I said, this is a place where those burdened with sentience may rest. Your heart has been carrying a painful burden for too long that your soul independently ended up here.”

The black haired man said serenely.

Kurapika was silent.

“Then…what if I want to torture you?”

“Eh?”  
  
He abruptly stopped the dance, jerking the man who wore his murderer’s face towards him, nails digging into his waist.

“You wear his face. If your job is to help me heal, then serve as an outlet for my anger and rage and thirst for vengeance.”

He said, red eyes staring straight into black eyes.

The other man was silent for a bit.

“…Wasn’t your goal to collect the scarlet eyes?”

He asked, staring innocuously up into the blond’s eyes.

“Since I’m dead, I must have completed my goal. But it seems I did not manage to kill Chrollo Lucilfer. You being here wearing his face is a sign. That I should finish the job here and now.”

  
He hissed, increasing his grip until he thought he saw the being wince.

  
  
“That’s how I will heal.”

“…That’s not what the man who taught you Nen, told you. I believe he said you were setting off on a path of self-destruction –“

“What do you know?! I don’t know what the hell a spirit guide is, but if you’re truly my spirit guide where have you been?!”

“…I’ve been watching you from above this whole time.”

  
  
His spirit guide answered with a wry smile, raising his hand to his face.

“…If it will truly help you heal, go ahead. Torture me. I can revoke the rule of this place for a bit…”

He said and raised his hands, closing his eyes in surrender as he chanted like an incantation.

_“Revoke for visitor ‘Kurapika’ ‘No Violence Allowed’. Reason: For healing his heart and soul.”_

There was a sound and a bright light emerged from Chrollo’s hands, surrounding the ballroom.

When it faded, the scenery had changed.

They were outside, on some unknown terrain, with nobody else but them.

Kurapika didn’t care.

He only cared there was a hard ground for him to shove the man with Chrollo’s face on.

The man didn’t resist.

He had on a helpless smile.

“Is there really no other way?”

He said, and Kurapika stared.

“No.”

He materialized his chains, feeling satisfaction at the clink of metal around Chrollo’s wrists.

The man was Chrollo as far as he was concerned in the unknown, barren land with only the two of them.

It would have been some nightmare and maybe it was.

But this Chrollo, had surrendered, had not resisted, and he was going to make the most out of the opportunity.

Emotionlessly, he raised his chain with a dagger on it, eyes turning red.

“Don’t regret it.”

"..."

Chrollo raised his gaze to Kurapika's red eyes, and smiled.

"...I won't." 

* * *

‘Chrollo Lucilfer’ did not resist.  
  
He felt a debase sense of satisfaction at having ‘Chrollo Lucilfer’ at his absolute mercy.

He told himself he wanted to cause pain, wanted to transfer his pain over to whatever it was.

He told himself he would have been rougher if it was the real Chrollo Lucilfer.

If this ‘Chrollo Lucilfer’ had not had tears in his eyes as he drew lines of blood over the too perfect skin.

He’d ripped open Chrollo’s shirt, an urge to expose the impenetrable man completely to him.

He’d felt heat rushing through him, and he let the dagger draw slowly over his body.

This Chrollo reacted as he wanted.

He grimaced in pain, he tried to resist, he spoke his refusal, until Kurapika chained his mouth shut.

But it was not enough.

He wanted to cause him even more pain.

He wished he could have been horrified at the sense of arousal that flooded through him.

_I want to hurt him._

_I want to torture him._

_I want to desecrate his body like was done with my clan…_

_Where are they?_

_If this is the afterlife, why are they not stopping me?_

_Why…is it him?_

“Why is it you…….?”

He asked, voice blank and Chrollo smiled at him through the tears in his eyes.

“I am your spirit guide.”

He said, then raised his gaze with closed eyes.

  
“A pity……..if we had danced peacefully, you might have been getting the answers you have been seeking…….”

He said almost mournfully, a bitter smile on his lips.

“But you made your choice, and as your spirit guide, I have no choice but to go through with it.”

He smiled from where he was chained up.

“There is one way to transfer your pain.”

“…What?”

Kurapika asked, as he had done as much torture as he could to a being who only looked like Chrollo Lucilfer but the pain still ate away at his heart.

'Chrollo Lucilfer' opened his eyes.

"..."

‘Chrollo Lucilfer’ was silent.

Then he looked Kurapika in the eye and spoke in a quiet voice.

“…Rape me.”

Kurapika’s heart stilled.

But his body seemed to agree with the idea.

He was too in shock, and Chrollo explained to him.

  
  
“Rape was used as a method to hold dominance in war…it is a dominating tactic, nothing sexual if you do not wish to hold sexual relations with the one who wears the face of your clan’s murderer.”

The black haired man smiled wryly.

“And in this realm, sex has the ability to transfer essence, so if you release your essence inside me, your pain will be transferred over.”

And then he lowered his gaze, blinking once.

“…Of course, I would not want it, so it would be rape.”

He looked down at his exposed chest where lay lines of blood, smiling helplessly.

“This position you have put me in…….it is your intention, is it not?”

Kurapika still could not speak.

He was filled with a sense of horror.

“How…can you speak of being…..raped, so easily?”

He finally managed, and black eyes blinked at him.

“It would not be the first time.”

He said.

For one moment he had to remember it was not Chrollo Lucilfer who was speaking.

“…I can’t…….”

Kurapika spoke, his body trembling above Chrollo’s.

Chrollo closed his eyes.

“There is nothing to be ashamed of. In this place, your true intentions can be exposed and carried through with, before you return to the human world. Henceforth, you can move forward with a lighter burden in your heart.”

“Return to the human world…….? I’m not dead……?”

Kurapika asked, flabbergasted.

His self-proclaimed spirit guide laughed as if it was amusing.

“No, I said it is a place where those burdened with sentience may rest. Did I not?”

“Then what happens to you after I leave this place?”

Kurapika asked.  
  
His spirit guide smiled secretively.  
  
“That, even I do not know yet.”

Then he smiled and looked up at Kurapika as if he was expecting it.

“Now, will you rape me?”

“…”

“You need to take action. You forfeit your peaceful healing when you stopped the ballroom dance. In turn you asked for a painful healing instead.”

“…”

“It is alright. As your spirit guide, I will bear it with you. I will take your pain and heal your heart.”

“Chrollo……….”

He said even though it was not Chrollo.

  
Chrollo laughed.

“You are kind after all Kurapika, as your friends know. Do not fret, this soul is strong and has endured much worse. Hence how I can be a spirit guide. For you.”

Chrollo smiled at him like a fallen angel.

Kurapika clenched his fist.

His body was singing a grotesque melody that would have disturbed Melody’s ears.

His clan’s bodies had been desecrated.

He wanted to ruin their murderer’s body in return.

He _wanted, he wanted….._

_He wanted to see what Chrollo Lucilfer’s body would look like, ruined._

“…You’ll heal after this, right?”

The other man asked as if he needed to confirm.

  
“Yeah.”  
  
He said, his mind’s eye playing images of how it would feel to have Chrollo Lucilfer…….

His mind went blank then, and he threw himself into the hell he had chosen for himself because he had rejected heaven.

* * *

Chrollo resisted.

_Unlike the real Chrollo_

He had extended the invitation, but couldn’t help saying ‘No'.

_The real Chrollo would have been amused just like he was when he thought he was a woman_

He struggled, turning his head away.

_Not like the Chrollo who looked undisturbed by being caught with his life in his hands_

That was right.

This was the Chrollo he wanted to **see.**

The Chrollo, the leader of the Spider he wanted to inflict suffering on like he had when he had mindlessly killed his clan.

He even had tears in his eyes as if he couldn’t hold back his pain, and the sight gratified him.

His too kind spirit guide was giving him exactly the sight he had thirsted for in his vengeance.

Or perhaps.

He had always been this kind of person.

* * *

Why had he not retreated and tried to move on like a normal person?

Why did he have to seek out revenge even when his friends were against it?

Even back then, it was because he couldn’t control his anger when Pairo had been made fun of, that he let his eyes turn red like he had been forbidden to do, which had exposed them to the people outside the village.

(Perhaps it had been his fault….and the Phantom Troupe was the perfect outlet)

It was him who had wanted to go out of the village, and so he had survived when they had clearly wanted to kill everyone, leaving no one alive.

(Perhaps if he hadn’t, they would all still be alive…….)

He had fought tooth and nail for his freedom to see the outside world, only to be chained down by his vengeance.

It wrecked his heart, and he wrecked his enemy’s body in return.

* * *

"Mpphhff- hnnghhh -!" 

There were muffled sounds coming from Chrollo, because he had chained his mouth shut.

He realized he wanted to hear him.

In **_pain_ **like what he had dealt him.

It was only fair.

The chains around Chrollo’s mouth fell away with a clink, and his black eyes looked surprised.

“Kurapika…?”

The being who was unknown to him as Chrollo Lucilfer was, questioned innocently.

  
He was being raped, forced against his will –

  * Yet he still had an aura of innocence



(just like he had been before his clan was massacred…)

_…No._

_Perhaps I was never really innocent._

_No innocent child would seek vengeance…_

_An innocent child would have been too scared to…….._

_……….perhaps I was always this way._

_And he showed me._

“Scream.”

  
Kurapika ordered, and thrust.

  
Chrollo’s body jerked, his eyes widened.

Kurapika didn’t stop.

Chrollo bit his lip so hard he drew blood.

“…I will not.”

His eyes burned with the fire of defiance.

“It is my job to receive your pain in this space, but I will not take orders from anyone.”

“…Oh?”

A sense of dark satisfaction rose in him.

He wanted more.

Perhaps he was being influenced in their sexual session by his enemy, but he was too far gone.

“…What?”  
  
Chrollo asked, wariness in his expression.

He wanted to see more.

A dark smirk crossed the avenger’s lips.

“What’s wrong? You asked for this.”

He said and pressed in closer, rubbing Chrollo’s nipple hard.

Chrollo looked like he had sensed the change in his aura.

“With limits…”  
  
He said carefully, cautiously.

“I’m raping you and you still won’t give me what I want. What will it take…”

The red-eyed being said, lowering to whisper in the being’s ear.

“…Chrollo Lucilfer?”

“…What do you mean?”

The black haired man said placidly.

“The Phantom Troupe does not take orders from anyone.”

Kurapika said, looking down at the face of his enemy.

“You gave yourself away with that line.”

“…”

Kurapika withdrew only to look down at Chrollo coldly.

“I should have known, you’re a thief and liar. You had on such a peaceful demeanor I was fooled.”

“…And?”

Chrollo –

\- The real Chrollo smiled up at him tauntingly.

“What are you going to do? You’re already raping me. I extended the invitation and you took it. What more do you want…?”

“Shut up.”

Kurapika hissed, his eyes flashing red as he tightened the chains.

This time Chrollo didn’t even wince.

“Will nothing satisfy your thirst for vengeance? We could have had a peaceful ending if you just danced with me.”

Kurapika jerked the chains on Chrollo's neck, forcing his face up to face his burning red eyes.

“I told you, I’m going to make you scream.”

Chrollo looked at him with that emotionless gaze.

Then he spoke.

“So not only are you a rapist, you’re a sadist as well?”

“And if I am?”

  
  
Kurapika challenged, his face going in closer to Chrollo’s.

  
“Thanks to your façade of healing me, I found your weakness.”

“…”

“You don’t care about your life, but you don’t like being found out.”

“…”

“And you hate being underneath another.”

Chrollo was silent.

Then he smiled.

“You would make an excellent addition to the Spider.”

Kurapika’s mind was clearer now.

The dream-like quality had faded.

It was the real Chrollo Lucilfer, and the hogwash about him being a ‘spirit guide’ was merely some trickery.  
  
Any and all guilt dissolved away from him.

It seemed the leader of the Spider was a fantastic actor as well.

“However, I am perfectly fine since I extended the invitation to be raped. I did not want to have sex with you, but it is nowhere traumatic to me. Now, what will you do?”

  
Chrollo had the gall to smile at him.

He should have known.

All the ‘No’s, all the tears, the pleading, it was all false.

All an act.

He responded by thrusting as hard as he could.

Chrollo gave a broken laugh.

What had he been planning?

Kurapika could envision it.

Had he not known it was the real Chrollo, he would have felt so much guilt after raping him.

Chrollo would put on an act of the kind spirit guide who would comfort him.

And then he would be ‘healed’, and give up his revenge which would be beneficial to the Spider leader.

But one thing was true.

Chrollo Lucilfer was not human.

No human would ask to be raped to achieve their own ends.

He was a twisted being with incomprehensible morals or no morals at all.

He didn’t even care for his own body.

It was merely a means to achieve his goals.

“It is such a pity. I could have gotten my Nen back…….”  
  
Chrollo said as if to infuriate him and he responded with a furious thrust.

The Spider leader gasped but laughed, smirking despite the tears he had let fall on his cheeks.

“…if you were healed and gave up your revenge."

Kurapika saw red.

He jerked the man up and forced him down on his lap, slamming him down onto his erection.

Chrollo’s eyes widened and he took that as a good sign as his body shivered.

“I…”

He cut himself off and Kurapika’s eyes flashed.

He did it again, and grim satisfaction rushed through him when Chrollo let out a soft cry.

“Scream.”

He ordered, and Chrollo smirked.

“Never.”

And then as if to infuriate him even further, he leaned in close and whispered.

“I quite enjoy this, chain user. Your expression when fucking your worst enemy….humans truly are fascinating.”

He chuckled into his ear at his expression.

“Knowing I’m the real one, you could just kill me, but instead you continue to take pleasure from my body. If you are that lonely, you could always join the –“

He wasn’t thinking when he forced a kiss on Chrollo.

He just wanted him to shut up, wanted to seal those smiling lips shut.

“Mpf -!”

  
Chrollo stared in surprise, and he grabbed the man’s face roughly, forcing his tongue inside.

The Spider leader fought with his tongue, but Kurapika moved him on his cock and he faltered.

"Hnngh..."

He thought he heard a whimper.

There was a glare in Chrollo’s eyes when he drew back.

“You don’t like it?”

“…”  
  


  
Chrollo did not respond, averting his gaze when Kurapika’s thumb brushed against his lip.

“…First kiss?”

Kurapika taunted, and Chrollo turned to smirk at him.

“Isn’t that yours?”

“Is it?”

Kurapika challenged, a dark smile as he leaned forward.

Chrollo leaned back.

Arousal rushed up in him.

The Spider leader was finally behaving like a normal human.

Chrollo must have felt him, growing bigger inside him, his body trembling the slightest bit.

“You can’t escape.”

Kurapika said coldly, pressing hard onto Chrollo’s nipple as he grabbed his chin.

When Chrollo said nothing, he rubbed Chrollo's nipple hard, pushing and pressing until a flash of pain crossed Chrollo's expression.

He increased the grip on his chin so Chrollo couldn't turn away.

He heard Chrollo inhale and exhale, like he was struggling to deal.

He seemed to want to tell Kurapika to stop, but knew the blond wouldn't listen.

“…Sadist? You’re growing bigger inside your worst enemy…”  
  
Chrollo had a cruel smile on his lips.

“Just finish it already, hm? There’s no point continuing this farce since I was found out.”  
  
He chuckled as if at himself.

Then he smiled almost warmly at him.

“Never would I have expected a survivor. Ah in that sense, you are like my creation. Through my actions, I birthed this vengeance in you. How stunning and beautiful.”  
  
Chrollo smiled, but Kurapika didn’t take the bait.

He knew the Spider’s weakness.

Just like his Spider, their leader did not like closeness.

So Kurapika kissed him again, at the same time grabbing his cock and stroking it.

Chrollo tried to avoid him, but there wasn’t much he could do with his hands chained and his legs locked around Kurapika's waist.

He kissed and kissed like in some parody of them being lovers, just to see the other man in discomfort.

His tongue went in and out of Chrollo's mouth, as he heard the clinking of chains as Chrollo struggled against him.

He dove deep into the warm cavern where none had dared ventured, working his hand on his cock so Chrollo's tongue fell limp against his.

"Nggh - hnngh -!"

The Spider leader panted, his dark eyes half-lidded with reluctant pleasure.

He gave a thrust then up into Chrollo, and those dark eyes widened.

"Ah - mphhff -!"   
  
  


Kurapika continued the same action, swallowing Chrollo's cries as he kissed him and thrust like fighting a battle. 

"Haa...ahh....!"

Chrollo's legs tightened around his waist in their chains.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, he looked to be in a pain-filled pleasure.

Kurapika pressed roughly on the tip of Chrollo's cock, and Chrollo arched against him with a soundless cry.

He relished in the soft pants, the saliva from Chrollo's lips, the almost imperceptible trembling.  
  
  
The man was clearly not used to submitting to another.

He wasn't either.  
  
  
Chrollo's body language screamed 'No', but the word never left his lips.

When he had enough, he withdrew, saliva trailing between their lips.

He would have been disgusted if Chrollo didn't look more disgusted himself.

  
Flushed cheeks, heavy breathing, bruised lips, eyes that were no longer blank but glaring at him.

He had ruined the Spider leader's composure and could almost feel a sense of pride.

_So physical pain won't affect him._

_It's psychological._

“…stop it.”  
  
The Spider leader finally hissed, his breaths coming out into the torrid air.

'Let me go' Chrollo's eyes said.

Kurapika said nothing, but his lips quirked as he moved Chrollo’s body so he was positioned on top of his cock.

And he kept him there.

Chrollo’s eyebrows furrowed.

“…what are you doing?”

Kurapika’s hand jerked at his cock.

A slight widening of his enemy’s blank eyes.

He continued just like that, jerking and kissing until Chrollo was trying to get away from him.

  
  
“This is disgusting, chain user.”

He let out until he realized.

“Frustrated? You want something, but I’m not giving it to you.”

Kurapika observed in dark amusement as Chrollo trembled above him.

“And you don’t want something, but I’m giving it to you.”

He hissed and kissed Chrollo forcefully again.

He almost laughed when Chrollo tried to bite his tongue.

“I’ll…”  
  
Chrollo said darkly, emotion flashed in his usually blank eyes.

His face was flushed from the repeated kisses, and being denied the pleasure he sought.

“Kill me? Not before I kill you first.”

Kurapika said and without warning slammed Chrollo down onto his cock.

The sound Chrollo let out in surprise almost sounded like a scream.

“Ah -!"  
  
He tightened the chains just so he could see how helpless the Spider leader’s was in his grasp.

“I prefer this to the dancing.”

  
He said mockingly as he twisted the head of Chrollo’s cock.

He could almost see the tears form in Chrollo’s eyes.

_Maybe he was not entirely pretending._

Kurapika thought vaguely, and a thought came to him.

“Hey…”

He whispered by Chrollo’s flushed ear.

“That thing about transferring your essence and pain….is not entirely untrue, is it?”

He felt Chrollo still.

“…You’re asking this to a liar?”  
  


Chrollo rebutted with a smile.

  
  
“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

Kurapika said and gave his hardest thrust.  
  
“AH –

  
Chrollo cut himself off, smashing his teeth into his lip.

He could feel the leader of the Phantom Troupe trembling on his lap.

His body flushed with sweat and trembling, his dark hair hung over his face.

He could know no greater satisfaction except for his death.

And so Kurapika continued to slam himself inside Chrollo, as his sounds became louder and louder.

At one point, he could have sworn he heard the Spider leader let out a soft sob.

It only aroused him more, and made him become rougher. 

Chrollo started to clench around him.

"...hurts..."

The Spider leader finally admitted.

He didn't look like he expected mercy, his eyes were filled with pain and solemn acceptance.

Kurapika stopped to look at them.

Just like how Chrollo must have stared into his family's eyes before their death.

Chrollo's gaze met his.

"I - I..."

"What?"

He snapped, for Chrollo wasn't supposed to look so vulnerable.

He was a mass murderer who killed anyone who got in his way.

_He has no right to look like a victim._

Kurapika thought, but kept his expression blank.

"...I don't want this." 

Chrollo finally confessed.

Kurapika _smiled_.

"I _want_ this."

"..."

Chrollo looked at him as if getting his meaning, and he continued.  
  
  
"Just like how you wanted the eyes of my clan...and I didn't want to lose my family........now...you know how it feels like."

Chrollo was silent, and he said.

"Don't make me do it multiple times."

Chrollo _shivered_.

"128 times?"

Kurapika said just to see Chrollo's reaction.

Chrollo almost looked scared.

"We don't know how long we'll be stuck in this place."  
  
  
Kurapika said, a dark smile across his lips.

"...you wouldn't."   
  
  
Chrollo said, biting his bruised lip.

"You're not that kind of person -"

He was cut off by a violent thrust, and he cried out, trembling.  
  
  
"Don't tempt me."   
  
  
Kurapika snarled.

"Unless you beg and plead for me to stop, like they did before you and your Spider took their eyes for your own twisted pleasure..."

_Like I am doing with his body now._

_So...he has no fucking right..._

Chrollo looked at him.

"...They didn't beg...they fought until the end. We only took their eyes after death -"  
  
  
Chrollo almost choked as Kurapika suddenly grabbed his neck tightly, threatening to strangle him.

"Shut...Up...!" 

Kurapika bellowed, squeezed in warning then let go, exhaling as he looked Chrollo in the eye.

"...I won't stop...until I see you cry." 

* * *

The rage spurred him on, but it seemed Chrollo was reaching his limit.

His body had been plunged into even more roughly than before.

He hadn't spoken after that.

And all through it all, he refused to cry.

"A-Ahh..."

His legs trembled around Kurapika's waist, as he finally seemed to reach his climax, face painted in pleasure and pain.

“I –“

Kurapika wrapped his chains around the base of his cock.

Chrollo looked stunned.

Kurapika smiled like an angel turned devil.

“…Seriously?”

Chrollo asked, staring into his eyes.

Kurapika’s lips curled.

“I thought you were my spirit guide. I still have a lot of anger, so…”

He pushed Chrollo down onto his cock and growled.

_“Ride_ it out with me.”

Chrollo looked like he wanted to kill him.

He glared and bit down on Kurapika’s shoulder, staying silent.

Kurapika’s eyes narrowed and he began to fuck Chrollo even harder, driving deeper and deeper into the leader of the Spider.

He relished in the whimpers that were torn out of his enemy by his merciless thrusts, as he moved harder and rougher.

He kept the other man down, rocking him back and forth on himself, groaning at the pleasure he forcefully took.

  
“Tight…”

He growled and shoved Chrollo down like he was an inanimate object, sadistically relishing in his cry of pain.

He trapped the black haired man’s legs over his shoulders and drove forward, faster and harder.  
  
Chrollo’s hands trembled in his chains, as he was forbidden to come.

He still refused to let out any sound that could constitute as a scream.

And he still refused to fucking _cry_.

(Like he had when he found out he had lost his entire family)

Not enough.

It was not enough.

He wanted to ravage the Spider’s leader more.

He wanted to ruin him more.

More.

More.

_More._

But he was coming before he knew, with a sharp gasp and thrust of his hips into Chrollo, releasing his essence with a groan.

Chrollo didn’t make a sound.

Anger flared up in Kurapika.

It felt like he had lost.

But he was not done yet.

He drew up his chain. Chrollo followed it with unmoving eyes.

“I cannot die in this space.”

He saw fit to inform Kurapika.

Kurapika didn’t say anything.

The sharp tip of the chain slid through his come, touching Chrollo’s entrance.

He watched as Chrollo swallowed.

“…you want to come…right?”

  
Chrollo said nothing, as if silently accepting his fate.

If he stared hard enough, he could see apprehension in his eyes.

For it was impossible for it to be fear.

It was fine, he told himself.

This was Chrollo Lucilfer.

His lips curled wryly.

  
An eye for an eye.

If it had been Chrollo Lucilfer in reality, he would never have been able to do it.

Kurapika guessed he had set the conditions for the ‘healing’ to take place, and the kind, helpful ‘spirit guide’ role included depriving him of the ability to fight back.

What a twisted man.

As if reading his mind, Chrollo said.

“You would do it to a person who can’t fight back?”

“So? You tortured my clan. This is the best way to torture you and degrade you…ruin your body like you did to theirs.”

Chrollo’s lips quirked.

“Your clan was a warrior clan…they fought back, quite splendidly…”

He continued before Kurapika could get angry.

“…but here I am, under the role of ‘spirit guide’ in this place. I cannot harm you, yet you would harm me?”

He asked straightforwardly.

“…I haven’t heard you scream yet.”

Kurapika said simply.

"And I still haven't seen you cry. I warned you. You leave me with no choice."

And then he snapped the chain forward.

“A-“

Chrollo squeezed his eyes shut.

Kurapika snapped chains in place over his eyes.

“…”

Chrollo said nothing, but his body language gave him away.

Kurapika moved his hand, and the dagger moved deeper.

Chrollo started to struggle, his breathing coming out heavy.

“Chain user –“

Kurapika shut him up with a rough kiss, designed to suffocate him.

The chains around Chrollo’s neck tightened.

When he withdrew, he saw a tear slip from Chrollo’s eye.

Kurapika stared, as the tear slipped powerlessly down Chrollo's cheek.

“So you’re human enough to cry.”

The dagger moved deeper inside him.

Red started to seep out.

The Spider leader couldn’t see, as tears escaped his eyes.

Kurapika felt a rush of satisfaction as he watched.

Chrollo's hands started to thrash in their restraints.

His cock strained helplessly against the chains.

“You’re getting aroused by this?”

Kurapika said in disgust.

Chrollo refused to speak.

He seemed to be focusing on his breathing as Kurapika drove it further inside.

His eyes went blank.

“……..why?”

It was a mere breath of a whisper.

Kurapika paused just to hear what he had to say.

Nothing could have prepared him for the words Chrollo spoke like a betrayal.

“…I thought you were kind.”

“…”

“I believed…you were a kind…….human. You cared…….for your friends…..”

A tear slid down Chrollo's pale cheek.

* * *

Kurapika thought.

He thought of his life before the massacre.

Of his guilt in the accident which resulted in Pairo’s disabilities, his blindness.

Of how he had been aggressive in the shop when Pairo whom had been belittled had calmed down.

Of how he had just slammed his fist without hesitation into the face of the thug out of pure anger.

How he wasn’t like his friends.

Not only because he sought vengeance, but because he always pursued his own goals selfishly, uncaring of others’ input or concerns.

Wanting to see the outside world and bugging the elder aggressively to let him take the test.

Wanting to get his revenge and doing anything even joining the mafia to let him have his revenge.

_What was the difference in that?_

He hadn’t changed.

He only grew less selfish…

…because he found friends.

People he could put aside selfishness for because he cared.

In contrast, Chrollo Lucilfer…

Instead of begging for his life or being worried for himself

Had accepted his death to protect his Spider.

And in doing so, he had been…..

……….selfless.

* * *

Kurapika drew the dagger out of Chrollo.

But the deed was done.

He removed the chains around his neck and mouth, and from around his manhood.

And saw the sight he wanted to see.

Chrollo Lucilfer’s body ruined.

Chrollo Lucilfer’s suffering in his tears.

Chrollo Lucilfer’s _humanity._

“…I was never kind.”

Kurapika confessed quietly to his worst enemy.

He felt empty.

He had done everything he wanted.

Seen everything he wanted.

Yet he felt empty.

But he was still in the place.

On the ground straddling Chrollo whom he had raped.

He could have pushed it off to Chrollo extending the invitation.

Had he not proceeded with using the dagger to further ruin him.

_I don’t feel healed at all………_

Kurapika thought bitterly.

Chrollo watched him with unreadable eyes.

“…you cannot leave this place until you’re healed.”

He said softly.

“……..I won’t give up my goal.”

Kurapika replied.

“…will you unchain me at least?”

Chrollo asked him, the man who had raped him.

“I cannot harm you in this space. That was the condition I took for my plan.”  
  
He confirmed his suspicions.

Kurapika unchained him.

Chrollo stretched, rubbing his red wrists with his usual blank gaze.

Kurapika would not apologize.

The Spider leader had done worse, he told himself.

It was his retribution.

But he felt guilt he hated in his heart.

Chrollo had not come, he had just used Chrollo’s body as his personal emotional outlet.

And then Chrollo yawned.

Kurapika stared at him.

“…I’m tired.”

Chrollo said.

“Huh?”

Kurapika said.

Chrollo curled up.

“I’m going to sleep.”

He explained, as Kurapika just stared at him.

“At least clean yourself up.”

He gritted his teeth at the man’s unpredictability.

“That’s rich coming from my rapist. Do you see anything I could use to do so in this place?”

Chrollo said without looking at him as he curled up more on the hard ground, and closed his eyes.

“…goodnight.”

Kurapika couldn’t stop staring.

_He’s just been raped_

_Had his body pierced by my chain_

_There’s blood_

_And he’s just……_

_…….going to sleep?_

_He’s not even crying, he’s just accepting it_

_This man really isn’t human!_

Without thinking, he went and forced Chrollo over.

Chrollo opened his eyes, staring at Kurapika.

“What? Do you need another rape session?”

He said emotionlessly.

Kurapika wanted to punch him.

“How can you……..just go to sleep? I raped you!”

He shouted as if he wanted Chrollo to see.

But Chrollo’s gaze didn’t change.

“And? I extended the invitation. I underestimated your aggression. You’re not a kind human. I understand now.”  
  
Chrollo said like he had just figured out his answer to a question was wrong, and tried to turn over again.

His lips curled in amusement.

“Do you want me to cry and sob like a damsel in distress, just because I was raped?”

He asked mockingly.

_But your reaction just now…!_

Chrollo had said it hurt.

Chrollo had said he didn't want it.

Chrollo had looked vulnerable.

Yet after the deed, he was back to his usual emotionless bastard self.

Kurapika could not get his mouth to form the words.

_He’s really a monster!_

Chrollo closed his eyes.

“I’m sleepy. I didn’t get what I wanted. You got what you wanted. What else do you want?”

He said, then inhaled.

“You don’t look like you’re going to rape me again, much less 128 times. You were just trying to scare me. So what do you want?”

Kurapika couldn’t answer that question himself.

Chrollo huffed and tore away from his grasp and turned over again.

“Damn chain bastard.”

Kurapika would have felt satisfaction.

But Chrollo Lucilfer was just too _different_.

He couldn’t comprehend him.

“When…can we leave this place?”

He finally asked.

“I don’t know.”

Chrollo said without looking at him.

“I assume it’s only when you’re healed we can get out.”

“You don’t know?”

Kurapika asked incredulously.

  
Chrollo huffed, shrugging.

  
“I found the method in a spiritual book to create such a place. I’ve been practicing, but it has only been by myself. This is the first time I’ve brought the soul of another human in.”

“Huh?”

Kurapika stared.

Chrollo sighed.

“Thanks to your judgment chain in my heart, I can’t exactly bring any of my Spiders in. So I thought of you. And decided to try a little experiment…”

Chrollo held a hand to his chin.

“...To heal you so you would let go of your revenge. Perhaps you were a lonely soul, I thought. The sole survivor of the Kurta clan…”

His lips curled.

“I did not expect you to agree but I did not expect to be raped either. When you tortured me, you seemed to take delight in tearing off my shirt and exposing me. I’ve read that rape was used as a dominance tactic by men in war, even to other men. So I thought if I could push you to the extreme…you would do it in the heat of the moment and then be filled with unbearable guilt. Such human emotion could be useful for me to use, comfort you and help you let go of your revenge………………take the judgment chain out of my heart, and let me gain back my Nen.”

  
Chrollo revealed what he had suspected, but in an inhuman manner.

Then he sighed, his shoulders drooping like he was actually sad.

“Alas, it was not to be. You figured out it was the real Chrollo Lucilfer not a spirit guide. You’re not kind. You don’t feel guilty at all. I suppose you hate me that much.”

  
He muttered, blinked, and curled up again.

“Now if you would excuse me, chain user, I am dealing with the consequence of being raped. I want to sleep and forget everything. When I wake up, I won’t remember this…..”

Chrollo said, his voice drifting further away into slumber in the white place as he said quietly.

“…I didn’t want it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by this picture 
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/294704369364844830/
> 
> There were chains, so even though it looked out of character, I thought the one who did that to Chrollo could be Kurapika.
> 
> The summary is like a poem lol. I didn't come up with it, my Kurapika muse did.
> 
> Chrollo's last line is supposed to parallel his line in his flashback in canon
> 
> "At the start, I wanted it." 
> 
> It was never said what he actually wanted, maybe luxury or freedom? He wanted something and that greed, desire drove him to form the Spider. 
> 
> I thought it would be interesting to parallel that line here, because he wanted something (his Nen back) but he didn't get it, even though he had to go through something he didn't want. And for a man used to getting everything he wants through violence, having violence forced upon him for something he didn't want has a psychological impact on even his person. 
> 
> It would have been different if Kurapika had acted according to his expectations and let go of his vengeance out of guilt, Chrollo would have taken it as his price to pay for getting back his Nen. But he paid a price for his plan and didn't get what he wanted in the end.
> 
> Chrollo said to Neon in canon he believes in the afterlife and that humans have souls, so it's possible for him to try something like this. 
> 
> Kurapika has been shown in canon to mercilessly just punch anyone who pisses him off. He's pretty violent. I love him, but he's really violent! He seems to be someone who does things in the heat of the moment then regret it afterwards or feels guilty afterwards. Before the massacre, a thug insulted his blind friend Pairo and he snapped and beat the thugs up until they were bleeding and begging for mercy. And he was just a kid...
> 
> On the other hand, Chrollo has been shown to be inhumanly calm and composed. He kills, but it's people who get in his way of getting what he wants. He doesn't kill for fun, but for self-understanding or something like he said when Gon questioned him on his motives. His priority is keeping the Spider alive, so he plays safe. Hisoka couldn't get him since he has two Spiders guarding him at all times. Before he got kidnapped, he didn't even want to fight Kurapika. He wanted to leave the city to protect his Spider from the chain user after reading the prophecies, but Hisoka forged a false prophecy that said half the Spiders would die if they left Yorknew, so he stayed.
> 
> That's actually why I'm interested in their dynamic, since the villain or bad guy is calm and even self-sacrificial if necessary and the 'hero' or good guy is violent and destructive. 
> 
> I never thought it would turn out so long, I just wanted to write something out of that picture and it turned out like this.


End file.
